Setting Healthy Boundaries to reduce Stress & Overwhelm

Healthy boundaries are super important when it comes to reducing stress and overwhelm.

Healthy boundaries come from a place of self love and having the confidence to speak up about your needs and your capacity to take on tasks and responsibilities.

A lot of us due to low self esteem and perhaps even past unresolved trauma have this need to always please others and be passive in order to avoid conflict. We effectively become a 'yes man'(or Womxn) in order to to make everyone else happy, but that often comes at the cost of our own happiness and health which then leads to stress and overwhelm.

This can be in relationships, at home, with friends, with family and even at work. Others get used to relying on us because we have made it okay in the past, to the point where it is expected. If you have read about my story you will know that this was the case with me and my work in the past which is what led me to burn out due to stress and suffer from some very serious health concerns.

Ever used the phrases 'I'll do it' or 'It's easier if I just do it myself'? I know I have. Do you use these phrases or mindset even when you knew you were already under pressure, stressed and simply did not have the capacity to take on that task because you were already running on empty?

Of course wanting to 'do' things for others as Womxn is in our nurturing nature, it comes from a good place of wanting to be of service. Now I am not saying that is a bad thing but I am saying that without healthy boundaries in place it can quickly become a problem for your health both mentally and physically.

What are healthy boundaries

  • Showing yourself empathy and accepting that you can't be all things to everyone all the time, that is totally okay (you are human an it is not possible to make everyone happy all the time)

  • Accepting your own limits of what you can take on and feel comfortable taking on

  • Having the confidence to tell others what your boundaries are and sticking to them even when you are challenged by others

  • Saying No when necessary and not feeling guilty or beating yourself up for doing so

  • Being proud of your healthy boundaries knowing they are there to protect you, your health and happiness

  • Being okay with certain people no longer being in your life if they don't respect your boundaries (if they don't respect your boundaries they don't respect you)

  • Making sure to allow time for you in your day, surrendering to taking things slower and not needing to hustle to prove yourself to others and yourself

You can do this by

  • Using success lists to plan your day rather than long overwhelming 'to do' lists

  • Allocating time to tasks or time locking so you know what you have on and when you have reached your limit so that you do not overcommit

  • Communicating confidently to others your boundaries and asking for help when required

  • Accepting that everything doesn't need to be done right now (success lists will help you gain clarity on this)

This sounds like

  • No

  • I am unable to do that

  • I am unable to do that today

  • Can you help me understand why this is a priority and when it needs to be done by so we can reach an agreement we both believe is achievable?

  • Are you able to help me with this? We will be able to do it faster together

  • Are you able to take this task off my hands, I realise it is important however I don't have the capacity to take it on right now

  • I am stressed and overwhelmed, could you please help me with 'x' so I can have some me time to recharge?

Most importantly

  • Love yourself and know your are an absolute Queen! You do not need to prove yourself by taking on more than you can handle, you are worthy of help and support, if you ask, you will receive.

I hope the above helps, as always reach out if you have questions or need further guidance, my Instagram DM's are always open to you!

Love and Light!

Rebecca xx

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